


when all that's lost remains

by izzybusiness



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 13:02:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8579581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzybusiness/pseuds/izzybusiness
Summary: Tweek’s sitting at his desk in his room, fingers hovering over the keys of his laptop while the screen stares back at him mockingly. Taking a deep breath, he types, Help, I’m in love with my fake boyfriend, on Google. It’s official: he’s hit rock bottom. The first page of results gives him nothing of interest, and he spends the next few hours sifting through how-to guides, articles about romantic comedies, these things called fanfiction, and even more yaoi. By the time the clock on his wall ticks over to two, he’s consumed more than five cups of coffee, and the only piece of advice he’s managed to collect from all his finds is that fake relationships always end in disaster and tears.





	

Tweek is fifteen when he figures it out. 

It’s Tuesday, and the only thing he registers is the sound of Cartman’s offensive taunts echoing throughout the tightly packed space, the cheers and catcalls of all their classmates crowded around them, and in the middle of all this activity is Craig, who is holding onto either side of his face, leaning in towards him and whispering, “Don’t freak out, okay?” 

The strange thing is, Tweek’s—he’s _not_ freaking out. He knows he should be, what with all the commotion and the yelling and Craig being way too close for comfort. But something about all of this feels almost… _right_. 

So when Craig finally closes the gap between them and presses his lips against Tweek’s, brushing them somewhat hesitantly, Tweek just shuts his eyes and lets the unfamiliar sensation that follows wash over him.

That’s when it hits him, the cold clarity knocking into him so swiftly, he’s almost winded by the force of it. He likes this. Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, he likes _Craig_. 

And, yes, he supposes he does like Craig to a certain degree, seeing as they’ve been faking a relationship for the better part of five years. But this is _different_. It feels a lot less like _like_ and a lot more like _love_.

Before Tweek can sink further into the despair of sudden realization, Cartman’s obnoxious voice effectively breaks the two of them apart. “Ha! Look at those fags go!” he jeers. “Knew they’d never kissed before!” 

“Great, you proved your point,” Kyle chimes in, rolling his eyes and prodding Cartman on the shoulder, forcing him down the hall. “Can we go now? I don’t wanna be late for class,” he adds, throwing Tweek an apologetic grimace over his shoulder as he goes. 

The bell chimes and everyone begins to disperse and move off in different directions, leaving Tweek and Craig standing alone in the middle of the now empty hallway. Craig is still pointedly not facing him, and for once, Tweek can’t read the meaning behind his outwardly apathetic appearance. 

“God, Cartman is such an asshole,” Craig grits out, his hands curled into fists. He seems tense, almost like he’s upset about what just happened, but Tweek can barely make anything out over all the roaring noise in his head. 

He’s in love with Craig. He can’t believe he’s in love with Craig, how did he never notice this before? Oh, God, he can’t be in love, it’s way too much pressure. What if Cartman finds out? Or worse, what if _Craig_ finds out?

“Yeah,” Tweek agrees eventually, panic alarms still sounding off inside him. “Why’d he have to do that? Gah! We’ve been dating for five years! He—he should be over it by now!” 

Craig immediately reaches out and grabs hold of Tweek’s shoulder, giving it a brief squeeze to calm him down. When his hand returns to the depths of his jacket pocket, Tweek misses it. 

“Fuck him,” Craig snorts in disgust. “Do you want to skip the rest of the day?” he offers, shooting Tweek one of his rare half-smiles, and Tweek’s stomach explodes into butterflies.

“Sure, let’s go.” Craig moves forward and Tweek falls into step next to him, and the urge to take Craig’s hand in his is nearly overwhelming. “I want coffee first, though,” he tells Craig, who only rolls his eyes at him fondly in response. 

Tweek is so done for.

—

In retrospect, Tweek thinks he should have seen this coming a lot sooner. After all, you can only fake something for so long until the lines between real and pretend begin to meld into one. Craig’s always been his friend, and Tweek’s enjoyed his company for as long as he can remember. But it’s only now that he’s starting to realize how much he actually does, and what exactly it means. 

Besides, their fake relationship is nothing more than an extension of their friendship, anyway. They walk to school together and sit next to each other during lunch. When school’s out, they’ll hang around one of their houses, playing video games or doing homework. Once in a while, Craig will take him to the mall or the arcade or the park. It’s only when other people are watching that they up the ante a bit with casual touches and lingering smiles. Tweek lives for those moments the most of all. 

Tweek’s sitting at his desk in his room, fingers hovering over the keys of his laptop while the screen stares back at him mockingly. Taking a deep breath, he types, _Help, I’m in love with my fake boyfriend_ , on Google. It’s official: he’s hit rock bottom. 

The first page of results gives him nothing of interest, and he spends the next few hours sifting through how-to guides, articles about romantic comedies, these things called fanfiction, and even _more_ yaoi. By the time the clock on his wall ticks over to two, he’s consumed more than five cups of coffee, and the only piece of advice he’s managed to collect from all his finds is that fake relationships always end in disaster and tears. 

Tweek sighs in defeat, bangs his head against his desk a little, makes himself more coffee, then clicks on another link to a story with a promising summary. If he can’t figure out the answers to sort out his own life, then he might as well read about how Stiles and Derek do so.

—

When he blearily gets up the next morning, Tweek decides that the key to all his problems is just to ignore Craig until he magically gets his newfound feelings to disappear. He’ll be the first to admit that this plan is neither mature nor guaranteed to work, but he figures that he should take what he can get at this point. 

He manages to successfully dodge their daily walks to school by forcing his confused mom to drive him over, and since the two of them don’t have any shared classes, Tweek spends all of his breaks hiding out in the library, sneaking bites of his sandwich when no one is looking. 

When the last bell rings, Tweek practically sprints out of his math classroom and heads off in the direction of his locker, feeling almost proud of himself. If he can just keep this up for another few weeks, he’ll probably be able to forget the fact that he ever thought of Craig as more than a friend. 

Tweek rounds the corner, books clutched tightly to his chest—and immediately feels his stomach sink to the ground when he finds Craig leaning against his locker door, arms crossed and an impatient glare on his face. When he catches sight of Tweek, who squeaks and drops his stuff to the floor in response, Craig pushes off the wall and stalks towards him, gray eyes betraying nothing.

“Why are you avoiding me?” The question is asked with barely any inflection, but Tweek knows Craig well enough to tell that he’s seriously hurt. Tweek’s heart skips a beat as something jumps to his chest, a sensation almost like _hope_ seeping into his insides.

Tweek opens his mouth to defend himself, but then abruptly closes it again, the words stuck. Craig watches him searchingly, as if trying to probe into the meaning behind his actions. “Are you—are you breaking up with me?” he asks quietly, gaze dropping, and Tweek feels all the air deflate from his lungs. 

The last time Craig directed that question at him had been on the day all the girls in school left their respective boyfriends in protest of an Internet troll. Tweek, who had been busy working at the time, only found out about it when Craig stormed into his parents’ shop and grabbed him by the apron, demanding to know if he was going to be dumped, too. When Tweek stammered out a confused negation, Craig had thrown his arms around him gratefully. 

“Tweek, answer me,” Craig commands him, taking on a steely tone. “Do you want to end this?” 

Like a dam bursting, every emotion he’d been keeping bottled up for the past two days comes flooding out of him at once. 

“N-no!” Tweek sputters. “Why would I do that when—Gah!—when I’m in love with you, you dickwad!” Craig takes a step back and blinks at him, surveying Tweek like he’d just punched him in the face.

“I just can’t deal with all these _feelings_ , okay?” Tweek goes on, practically tearing his hair out as he rambles. “It’s too much pressure! This whole fake relationship, it feels too real!” 

“Tweek,” Craig cuts in, softly voicing out his name. “Hey, hey, Tweek,” he repeats, holding onto Tweek’s arms to keep them still. “Just relax. I’m in love with you, too.” 

Unsurprisingly, Craig’s words do the precise opposite of calming him down. “Gah! _What?_ ” Tweek exclaims, his eyes widening. “You’re not—are you fucking with me?” 

Craig scoffs, but even that can’t mask the full-blown smile that’s breaking out across his face, and this one is so different from the others because Tweek has never seen Craig look at him this way. Like he’s _in love_. 

“You’re such a dork,” he replies, shaking his head and looking so genuinely fond that Tweek wants to cry. “Our relationship feels real because it _is_ real.”

“ _What?_ ” Tweek yells again, still waiting for the punchline. “Since when? Why didn’t you _tell_ me?”

“Since always,” Craig answers back with a casual shrug, a grin still pulling at the corners of his mouth. Tweek can’t wrap his head around this. If Craig keeps staring at him like that, he’s going to self-combust. “I stopped faking things a long time ago. I was hoping you would, too.” 

“But—but the kiss! And Cartman! We’ve never kissed before! If you liked me all along, why didn’t we kiss?” Tweek challenges, then swallows tightly when Craig moves into his space. 

“I didn’t want to pressure you,” Craig informs him, gaze as earnest as it’s ever been. He tugs slightly at the hem of Tweek’s T-shirt, bringing them closer to each other. “I wanted the first one to be special,” he admits, a slight blush creeping along the back of his neck. 

Tweek finally surrenders to the feeling of profound happiness that’s been building inside him since the beginning of this conversation, letting it explode and spread throughout his whole being, filling his very core with lightness and warmth.

“And you say I’m the dork,” he says, his smile matching Craig’s tooth-for-tooth. “It would have been special no matter what because it’s _you_ ,” he adds, and, fuck, this is getting ridiculously cheesy.

Luckily for him, Craig seems to have reached his maximum capacity for outward displays of emotion. And while it had been nice seeing him like that, Tweek does love Craig for who he is, permanently bored expression and all. 

Instead, Craig bridges the short distance between them, and before Tweek knows it, they’re kissing, a heady rush of excitement flowing through his body, and he can’t believe he waited fifteen years for this because he never wants to go without it again.

When they separate, Craig helps him gather up his stuff and then twines their fingers together. “That should have been our first kiss,” he remarks as they make their way out of the school. Tweek can feel everyone’s stares on them as they pass, but he profoundly does not give a single fuck. Maybe Craig is rubbing off on him after all. 

They set off towards the student parking lot, and Tweek sneaks glances at Craig every second he gets, a flush rising to his cheeks when he catches Craig doing the same. 

“Wanna go to mine?” he asks, suddenly pausing in the middle of the basketball court when an idea occurs to him. “My parents aren’t home,” he says, taking a step forward. “And there are some other things I want to try,” he finishes, voice dropping as he leans in to whisper in Craig’s ear.

Tweek’s pretty sure Craig breaks a few traffic laws on their way to his house, but it’s all worth it in the end.

—

Ten years later, the two of them celebrate their fifteenth anniversary as a couple in front of their family and friends. Craig refuses to make a speech, but Tweek thinks they’ve got a lot of people to thank for getting them to where they are. 

As he goes up to speak, he reflects on the fact that he never thought he’d have Eric Cartman as the guest of honor at their wedding, the Asian girls in the audience, and yaoi of the two of them decorating the walls.

But then again, Tweek wouldn’t change anything for the world.


End file.
